Our world has been ripped apart
Life never to be the same.
Moving in slow motion, stuck in quick sand.
Earth has stopped revolving
Life has come to a screeching halt
Not grasping this magnitude
Telling myself to inhale
Exhale
Breathe
I feel catatonic.
You were just there.
You’ve always been there.
You’ve been there for 34 years.
You rescued me.
You’ve been there to ensure my safety.
You’ve been there to inspire me
You’ve given me gratitude
You’ve shown me true laughter, especially at myself
You gave me happiness in its truest form
You gave me an incredible unconditional love
This new scar tissue runs deep through my entire being
My jigsaw puzzle of my heart, body and soul
I am just in freefall
Dropping out of reality with no parachute
My heart is on a roller coaster and I can’t breathe
I can’t accept.
I can’t stop replaying
I can’t figure out what went so terribly wrong.
I can’t understand why I couldn’t help you
The first and last time I ever saw you in pain.
I can’t understand why you were taken from us.
I can’t understand why you were taken from me.
I can’t stop missing you.
I still have so much to ask you
We had more special moments ahead
There were still milestones in our life
When I speak of you, my throat is all tangled up
This volcano of grief erupts, despite all efforts
It spills out like lava that has been dormant.
A volcano of my soul spouting tears
My habit of going to you is still present.
When I realize my truth I sink
My life is now two parts
And now I am in the aftermath of destruction
There is nothing
No more texts
No more calls
No more hugs
Even once more would not be enough
I have a punctured lung.
Every breath a painstaking task
My lead feet don’t know where to take me.
My path is now undefined.
Pains I have never felt
Everything comes back to you
But there is an incredible unconditional, everlasting love I will hold tight to until I see you again.
